I Choose...

It's quite. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. the day is coming.

In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of the solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to beat to the day's demands. It is not I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.

I choose love...

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.

Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy...

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance,

I will refuse the temptation to be cynical... The toll of the lazy thinker.

I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.

I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace...

I will live forgiven.

I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience...

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.

Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so.

Rather than complain that the wait is too long,

I will thank God for a moment to pray.

Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness...

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid.

And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness...

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness...

Today I will keep my promises.

My debtors will not regret their trust.

My associates will not question my word.

My spouse will not question my love.

And my children will never fear that one of their parents may not come home.

I choose gentleness...

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.

If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.

If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.

If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I am a spiritual being...

After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.

I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.

I choose self-control, I will be drunk only by joy,

I will be impassioned only by my faith.

I will be influenced only by God.

I will be taught only by Christ.

I choose self-control.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

To these I commit my day.

If I succeed, I will give thanks.

If I fail, I will seek His grace.

And then, when the day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

"...the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness..."

May your life be blessed in Jesus.

Bearing the Burden

Sometimes I forget about all that the cross represents. It represents death, resurrection, sin, forgiveness, old life and new life....eternal life. In order for me to have such a precious gift, someone had to bear the weight of my sin and sacrifice for it. It is humbling to just write it. I don't deserve it, none of us do.

I started really thinking about all of this when I was reading in Numbers 11:10-17.

Num 11:10-17 Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: and the anger of the LORD was kindled greatly; Moses also was displeased. ~11 And Moses said unto the LORD, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me? ~12 Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers? ~13 Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat. ~14 I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me. ~15 And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness. ~16 And the LORD said unto Moses, Gather unto me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom thou knowest to be the elders of the people, and officers over them; and bring them unto the tabernacle of the congregation, that they may stand there with thee. ~17 And I will come down and talk with thee there: and I will take of the spirit which is upon thee, and will put it upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with thee, that thou bear it not thyself alone.

Moses was suffering under the weight of the sin (lusts) of the Nation of Israel and he could not bear it all. The LORD told him to gather 70 elders and they would stand with him to bear the burden. God allowed Moses to share the burden of a million people with 70 other men.

In Mark 14:31 Jesus starts to feel the burden of what the Father has asked him to do and prays 3 times, for this cup to pass by him if it is possible, but God's will be done. His answer was different than that of Moses's. He was left to bear the burdens alone....and not just for a million people, but all of the weight of all of the sins of all of the people who were, are and are to come.

Sometimes I don't think I can bear the weight of just my own sins??? Jesus took on all past, present and future sins while hanging on the cross supported only by nails securing his hands and feet to the wood. No wonder he "gave up the ghost" more quickly than the two thieves on either side of him. He didn't die from the weight of his own body handing on the cross, he died from the suffocation of our sins.

Beautiful Christian Sister

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER by Maya Angelou 'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.' When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin.' 'I'm whispering 'I was lost, now I'm found and forgiven.' When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide. When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess. When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it. When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain..I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name. When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!'

Another One Bites the Dust...

Marriages.... Every time I turn around another one is ending. Why? What is the deal? I know that marriage is not easy, no close relationship is. It takes a lot of hard work, but if God is the center of your life why can't people make it work? How do you get so far away for so long that you would give it all up, including your own children. When you make that choice, you destroy their lives....literally. Are there REALLY that many selfish people in this world, that they just don't care about their spouse and their children? Then there is God, how could someone break his heart that way? Years of investment in thier spouse and children and they throw it all away because they aren't happy? Since when do seasons of life, not end.

I have had some pretty bad times in my life. Some of them were such that I didn't know if I would ever smile again, but it was a season....sometimes a long one, but a season non-the-less. I understand tough times, but throwing it all away? Why?

Overwhelmed...

I once heard someone define overwhelmed as "trying to get a sip of water from a fire hydrant."

That would be a fabulous description for these past couple of weeks. Talk about spiritual warfare. This week, especially, the LORD seems to be stripping me of things I thought I knew. I should say "arrogantly" thought I knew; physically, spiritually and mentally. It seems as if I am back to the basics of my faith. My journal this week contains entries about faith, prayer, letting God be, casting down imaginations and thinking on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely. There are no entries revealing and new deep and hidden truths or revelations.....just the basics.

It amazes me how my Heavenly Father knows what is coming in my life and is gracious enough to prepare me for it. My journal is fill with verses and old verses re-visited over the last couple of weeks that are things I am clinging to for comfort this week. He knew, He cared, He prepared, He comforts. Below are just a couple of the verses God has shown me this week. Last Tuesday at a prayer meeting the pastor mentioned these verses and said that we are to RUN to the the Rock of our Salvation. Don't be lazy and walk run to Him, whether it be on your own behalf or someone else that is hurting in need. Per 1Sa 12:23 "God forbid that I should sin against the LORD in ceasing to pray for you:"

Psa 62:5-8 "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. ~6 He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. ~7 In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. ~8 Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah."

birthdays.....

Well, I had another birthday....

I am officially on the back side of the 30's, and as one of my friends would say, I am kissing 40. Oh yea... I think there comes an age where you really don't need to celebrate them anymore. When you are young it is so exciting to turn one year older, that you need to party; and I suppose there comes an age when you are just thankful to be alive and want to party. In the middle of those two time frames...not fabulous, especially when you are single. That proverbial clock keeps ticking away.

Don't get me wrong.... I am VERY greatful for the family and friends I have. I love them all, and God has really blessed me. But.... sometimes a birthday can just be more trouble than it is worth, especially when it is 10 days from Christmas. People just try to squeeze you in their schedules between Christmas shopping and Christmas work parties and Christmas family get togethers and putting up the Christmas trees and blah, blah, blah..... Most of the time it is far more convenient for people if you go to them as to not disrupt there checklist of things to do. Basically, I am saying that the day just flat wore me out. (Now that I am old, I tire quickly...)

:)

I did have a good day overall. I am blessed to have people that want to see me and celebrate my birthday with me. I had an early dinner with 2 of my sisters and my nephews, one of them being my twin sister. I had a chocolate bag at McCormick and Schmitts on the plaza with another friend and then cheese cake and coffee at another friend's house with a couple of people... I was thoroughly sugared and coffeed up by the time I went to bed that night.

Well, those are my big thoughts on birthdays for now....

Conversations With God......the book

Ok, These books could quite possibly be one of the craziest things I have ever seen. On top of that, the titles are deceptive..... "Conversations with God" and "Conversations with God for Teens", written by Neale D. Walsch. (btw James Dobson is on a bandwagon to have this book banned. I am not the political type, but I can say I agree with him on this one.)

I checked out the book on Amazon and have to admit it is a twisted, sick book. He very dangerously twists together some truth with a whole bunch of.....crap.

On page one the author refers to God as the biggest victimizer of them all, and then claims that he sat down and wrote this big long letter to God venting, and when he was done....."magically" the pen just started to move and answer his questions. For 3 years he had this conversation with God. The author would write down a question and when he was completely done writing the questions, "god" would write the answers down for him or basically tell him what to write. (The author capitalizes "god." I did not capitalize it because I think he may be talking to a different one than I do.)

The author also says that god's "most common form of communication is through feeling. He says that feeling is the language of the soul. If you want to know what's true for you about something, look to how you're feeling about it......hidden in your deepest feelings is your highest truth." (that was a direct quote from the book). You can read the first several pages of the book on Amazon, they let you preview pages of the book before you buy it. Anyway....just thought I would share.